Friday, September 30, 2005


I Linger Longer

A few of our second-born friends and family have been keeping a close eye to ensure that Lexie gets all the same attention that Bekah got when she was born. Although we swore we would not do it, I have to admit, there are fewer photos of Lexie and we don't update our website as much.

Is Lexie getting less attention?

From the first moment, raising Lexie has been different than raising Rebekah. The minute I held Lexie in my arms, I loved her with a love only a mother knows. With Rebekah, those first few moments of life were different. I loved her, of course, but I wasn't a mother yet. I was a woman who had just given birth. You can't understand the depth of a mother's love until you've been a mother. That depth came a bit later for my first child. With my second, it was instant.

With Bekah, we were so in awe of having a baby that we didn't fully understand that we had Rebekah. With Lexie, we see her (a person with a spirit and a personality) more than we see 'a baby'. We may not take as many photos, but I now understand that no matter how much I try to capture the moment, they are fleeting and I must live fully in them.

I now know how quickly the moments pass and how much I will forget. I don't remember what Bekah's baby cries sounded like. I can't fully remember how she smelled as an infant. So with Lexie, I breath in deep when I hold her. I commit her sounds to memory. I stop what I am doing more often to savor her. I linger longer.

Yes, with Rebekah we took more photos, wrote thank you cards more quickly, got the birth announcements out faster, had a more organized nursery, put her name on the answering machine immediately, took her to more social events. We have not done these things with Lexie. Her baby book will be less detailed. Her dvd's will probably be shorter. She will wear hand-me-downs longer and might even have less people attend her first birthday.

But does that mean she is getting less attention? Not to me. To me, I now know what is really important - to breath in her baby smell as deeply as I can and to linger longer.

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