Thursday, December 15, 2011

 

Sleepy Jo

We went to the Gingerbread House Display last weekend. On the way there, Jo asked, as she always does, “Do we have to go on the freeway?” Lexie asked her, “Why do you ALWAYS ask that?”

To which Jo replied, “There are two whys that I don’t like the freeway. One is it’s loud. And two is it makes me sleepy.” This was her two minutes later.




Dave has started paying Jo one dollar for every morning she wakes up in her own bed. Last night Jo told me, “Every night, I close my eyes and think, ‘I’ll go to mommy’s bed in one minute’. Then it’s morning and I say, ‘DANG IT! I didn’t go to mommy’s bed. DANG IT.”

Sunday, December 04, 2011

 

23 Adult Truths

You've probably already seen this, but in case you haven't... enjoy. Also, if you find out who authored this, will you let me know?

1.Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the @#!*% are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't
going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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